Man awakens from long period of hypnosis

Mark Billingsworth, 38, an IT manager for a large financial institution, explained how he had been awoken from what appeared to be an extended period of hypnosis.

“I am still in a bit of a daze really. “ he explained “It was only yesterday morning that I came out from under the influence.”

Mr. Billingsworth said that he was not sure how long he had been hypnotized for but believed it may have been as a long as several years.

“The last thing I remember I was in my early twenties. I was young, slim, had a full head of hair and used to love touring on my motorbike.” He reminisced. “I remember playing the guitar in a band, we were pretty good I think. We could have got somewhere, although I remember considering being a writer more than a performer.”

It appears that after undergoing hypnosis Mr. Billingsworth traded his motorbike in for a people carrier, and spent his subsequent weekends not at music festivals or bike rallies but at B&Q and Ikea.

“When I wasn’t on my bike, or with the band, I remember being quite sporty. I used to hate golf and love football. Now it appears I am a member of the local golf club and its social society!”

The changes in his hobbies appear to have been even more wide-ranging.

“I can’t play the guitar very well anymore. I don’t think I have been to a drunken after-show party in years. I am now an IT project manager following a structured development methodology, not changing the world through subversive writing.”

Mark also explained how he came out of his seemingly decades long trance.

“Well it was yesterday morning. I was startled out of the trance when my two year old son threw his breakfast into my face and my apparent hypnotist asked me why I hadn’t put the shelves up in the study.”