Motorists Welcome Moves To Scrap Confusing Road Signs And Anything Else That Might Slow Them In Getting Home To See Corrie

As society continues its inexorable slide to removing any need for anybody to learn anything, ever, the government acquiesced to demands from people who filled in an online petition from their wrecked cars and promised to review and scrap any road sign that was not immediately understandable to either a 5 year old child or a common-sense using Daily Mail reader.

“It is simply not my responsibility to understand stupid road-signs, who on earth knows what 'Give Way' means anyway?” said Sophie Billingsworth. “All I want is a straight road to my house with no distractions. Having to take care at junctions sometimes makes me miss the start of Emmerdale. It's so unfair.”

However Twitter feeds and Facebook pages, the true measures of all matters of import in 2011, have been full of debate, with those both for and against the changes offering reasoned arguments in support of their position.

“Stupid signs, having to read them distracts me from texting what I had for lunch,” said @Crasher1981. Whereas another user commented that “If the road-signs did not tell me, how would I know what speed was safe to drive at? Especially at night, on unlit roads. In the snow. Whilst texting.”

Motoring organisations say that it is often signs that cause so-called 'Information Overload' which can lead to accidents, especially at busy junctions or if Gail McIntyre (née Potter; previously Tilsley, Platt and Hillman) has decided to marry yet another person from the same street.

“These signs are so boring, sure they may provide information but what use is that to anyone? Anyway common-sense says that I can either read a stupid sign or a tweet about Tracey Barlow, but not both,” said Billingsworth. “I have been driving for over 20 years and never had an accident – mind you I have seen plenty in my rear-view mirror.”