Brown to enter into “Deal or No Deal”, with Gaddafi

The British Prime Minister today affirmed that he would not be dealing with terrorists during an announcement of pursuing a deal with Libya for compensation for IRA terrorism.

“I want to be clear that this is not a U-turn, I always intended to keep negotiating whilst not doing any deals,” said the Prime Minister. “At least while the £250,000 box was still in play.”

Mr Brown made the announcement after a telephone conversation where his latest poll numbers were revealed to him.

“None of my previous changes of direction have been U-turns,” re-iterated the Prime Minister. “After every decision I make the phone rings and based on the number I am told I decide whether or not to continue with my original game-plan. We have done that several times now.”

Mr Brown, one of a number of politicians who have taken the 'Walk of Wealth' to Tripoli in recent weeks, denied that there was any link between the pursuit of compensation for victims of terror, the release of terrorists or huge oil and gas contracts with a nation that has admitted to supporting and directly engaging in acts of international terror.

“Let me make this quite clear, I have been entirely consistent. We are after a deal on compensation, there was no deal on releasing dying terrorists and we hope to sign huge trade deals,” said Mr Brown. “It is all completely understandable when you realise that I am making my policy selections based on family member's birthdays. And also that Jack Straw's red box normally contains something of high value.”

The Conservative leader responded saying that the government was flip-flopping on important decisions and showing that it was not negotiating strongly enough for Britain's interests.

“Take the Credit Crunch, Brown was incapable of negotiating with the Banker properly then,” said Mr Cameron. “A Conservative government will ensure that every box is ticked with ruthless tenacity, sticking to our most basic values. George's system for ticking policy boxes is based upon the number of sequins on party dresses.”