US Religious right “Throw out the money lenders”

Secret memos from the Glen-Rivers Baptist Church of Nashville, Tennessee in the USA have revealed a resurgent call from the religious-right to adhere more to biblical teaching. The memo from the head of the Glen-Rivers church Pastor Jesse Billingsworth read:-

"When congress passed the laws restricting Internet gambling we all praised the lord, because gambling is, of course, a sin. Now we want to go further, and rid God’s Country of the filth that resides in Wall Street – The New York Stock Exchange, and its demonic cousin the NASDAQ. Satan has convinced the weak that these are something other, but they are just games of chance, buying low and hoping for a turn in the market is no more than hoping on the turn of a card."

The memo went on to criticise what many see as the basis of US prosperity further. "In reality all of the liberal North East is based upon money lending and usury practices in many forms, most disguised by the great Lucifer. This is one area of fundamentalism we could learn from the unsaved within the Islamic community. However on this we need to tread carefully as our political allies find financial matters far less related to spiritual salvation than our traditional battleground of morality."

The memo was reacted to strongly by politicians. "Frankly," commented Cleet Roscoe, a Republican party worker in South Carolina, "I think we need to distance ourselves from any such religious fundamentalism. Apart from the massive impact it would have directly on political fundraising, it would also obviously damage the economy and our own personal prosperity, and none of us want to follow our beliefs to that extent. From a religious point of view, if we follow scripture so closely, how will we be able to distinguish ourselves from Islamic fundamentalists who view this very area as one of the reasons we are the infidel?"

"No,", he added, "we should stick to bashing the gays and any form of sexual impropriety. After all sex can lead to dancing."