Motoring group : “Any 4x4 is a better badge than an ASBO”

The 4x4 City Motoring Association has launched a new drive to recruit younger members with the slogan "Any 4x4 is a better badge than an ASBO".

Sir Marmaduke Billingsworth of the association unveiled the new advertising campaign. "It has become apparent that the youth of today see ASBOs as badges of honour which they feel represents a clear statement of anti-social behaviour. We in the 4x4 City Motoring Association feel we can provide an area of development for such young people as we believe nothing says Anti Social like parking a Chelsea Tractor on the kerb of a small road outside a primary school.
"Using a massive 4x4 to get the shopping, or drop a toddler off at the nursery, makes the statement that we do not care about the community whose roads we clutter up nor the natural resources we consume sitting at traffic lights. Young hoodlums, with their tricked-up Vauxhall Novas belting out absurdly loud music are making the same statement.

"We have so much in common. Chavs don’t care about other road users and assume that if they are in an accident that injury ‘Won’t happen to them’ – my members in the 4x4 City Motoring Association know it won’t happen to them, since high bumpers will wipe out normal cars at window height. There is no danger of even the sturdiest side impact protection causing our members’ airbags to even fire off.

"A few of our members already have ridiculous sound systems in their fully loaded Land Rover Discoveries, and will be handing out leaflets to anybody in a hoodie. This will be quite straightforward as these powerful off road vehicles only ever travel between schools and shopping centres anyway."

‘Degs’, 19 from Macclesfield, was one of the first of the new recruits to sign up. "I’ve like taken the ASBO as far as I can, like. Since I’m like banned from more and more areas I have to like travel further an’ I need a big ride to carry ma ho’s in – know what I mean? Like? Makes me look proper gangsta like in the rap videos."

The 4x4 City Motoring Association denied it had any plans to join up with the UK Graffiti Co-operative.